Rewriting My Love Story

There is nothing wrong with you that you want more. There is nothing wrong with you that you don’t feel desire in your relationship. There may simply be trapped emotions that need to be set free. 

You can’t change time. But you can embrace it. 

Who I say I am, is how I will show up in my

life. And how I show up is what gives me the experience of my reality. 

I need to act (be), take action as I say I am. 

A written dialogue with Love:

Who do I want to be? 

Just go. Offer yourself up to life. I am open to love, ready for life to flow through me. And for me to flow through Life. 

Successful. In love. 

I had my head in the clouds. That’s where I’ve lived most of my life. Go there with me. Join me in my dreams. I want to be with someone that wants the same as me. To live free and in love. 

I needed a job to get out of relationship…to have my own financial security - to get away from being in relationships I wasn’t connected in. The job was just a means to an end. A means to get away from what I didn’t want. Not a step into something I did want. Which was a lover. I’ve tried to find my lover in a job, in my kids, in houses…thinking if I found the perfect “job”-that was my passion I would feel LOVE. But the job I really want is to LOVE my lover. Is love enough to pay for life. I surrender to love to support me. Love is my job. Love is my passion. So much love in me. Guide me to the people I am to love. And those that are to love me. 

Love it all.

You were built to love and to be loved. Being yourself is the objective of LIFE. The way you are, just as you are in every moment. 

I’m sorry for all the times and ways I didn’t see you were loving me. 

cue this song, I.F.L.Y. I fuckin’ love you. Bazzi

I’m lookin’ for love. Not a job opportunity. I’m lookin’ to share love. 

Stop looking. And LOVE. Life isn’t absent of love. You simply don’t see it when you’re seeking. 

If you’re out looking for it or avoiding what is here now, you are separating yourself from love. You are it now. Love is with you, in you. always. 

Being in love. Being with love. Every moment is lovable. Fear is the absence of love. I will not live in a state of fear. To trust love is to know it is there. Even when your mind doesn’t perceive it. That is trust. That is standing for Truth. Love and you will be led effortlessly. 

So grateful. 

Loving isn’t something you plan to do. It’s something you choose. You choose in every moment. The question I ask is, what is my purpose. To love. So I trust whatever is in front of me - is meant for me to love. To honor it. We learn to love through living. Through choices. Through choosing to accept what we’re experiencing. To keep staying. Staying close to our hearts. To the heart of the matter. To the heart of the moment. 

The illusion is believing that love is outside of you. When you can allow yourself to be as you are, you reveal the experience of love. When you love what you’re feeling, thinking and doing, you’re free. Loving means being with no matter what. Love contains/is made up of Truth. In order to experience itself, it scatters into us - our humanity. We are a part of the Truth and also contain the Truth. We are a drop in the ocean and made up of ocean. We are part of Love and made up of it. The part of us that is Love, is our unique expression - our soul. The knowing of this power, this love within us - that is us - IS our FUEL to be…to live out our journey. 

Experiencing who you are is the gift of our lifetime. 

Whatever you’re experiencing is the gift. Life is the gift. Nothing is ever wrong.  When I live from this knowing, I experience love. 

Take it all in. Let it all out. It’s not what you take in or what you let out…it’s that you love, all of it. No taking and keeping, no refusing and pushing away…it’s total surrender and acceptance at the same time. Embody that. When you seek for more or less, you are not aware of what is now. What is now, is all that matters. Now is life loving you. You being with the now is loving life. 

Me showing up as myself, fully accepting and loving myself is an expression that brings more awareness of love to what may have been rejected. By me loving my shadows - the all of me and expressing her in the world. I experience love and the world gets to see what is feared,  IS lovable. 

What do I not want to be known about my humanness?

That I'm scared to loose everything, to have been wrong in my choices, to be selfish...

That I wanted another life than what I was in. That I despise the superficial and ignorance of our species. That I want to “do nothing” for the rest of my life and only be madly in love - in human form. That I cannot do it by myself. That I've been starving for affection, but feel alien from others. 

That I'm in financial debt and have been in some way for most of my adult life. That I struggled doing the “mom” thing. I cherish the “loving” moments, but resent participating in the rat race and the pressure of being in that role, overpowered by endless tasks to feel accomplished, lost in the identity of being the best mom, to rectify the wounds of my own childhood. I have been an expression and embodiment of conditional love. I love you when….I love this part of my life when…I am okay when…my experience of happiness had been conditional on inner and outer circumstance. 

I am re-writing my love story. I love, no matter what. I can love and feel the love even if it’s not conditionally “perfect”. I trust that what and who is in my life is lovable, and I am safe to love, knowing that it’s what I’m made of. I don’t need another circumstance, more information or a different feeling to experience and know love. I believe in love. And her presence that is always there. I will be lead by trust in her. Loving the imperfect is TRUE LOVE; it's giving love where it isn’t. I accept what I don’t see as acceptable. No choice is wrong. If I wish to experience life to the fullest and with bliss running through my veins, I will honor this knowing. What I desire is the blueprint of my love’s expression. Choose from desire and honor what you experience. This is my path. I trust that what I desire is in my highest good and what is in my highest good is what is best for everyone. Following the most desired feeling to direct me….this is the key ingredient that illuminates the choices I make and leads me to the ultimate way to live. Act in alignment with desire and love what arises.